Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
