There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
