I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
