I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
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