Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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