We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
