It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
