Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
