stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
