Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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