Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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