all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
