It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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