I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
