He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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