i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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