I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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