im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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