How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
not ubering you a puppy
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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