Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
