my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
