Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize