i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
