he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
