I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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