You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
the liver wants what the liver wants
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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