just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
