Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
