i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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