your thong is hanging out like whoa
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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