Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Someone shattered a urinal.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize