Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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