He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
