Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I still have a little drunk in my system
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
