Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
