I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
