don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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