can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
