SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
