we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
