whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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