Where did you get a picture of my penis
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
