Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
