I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
