Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
