I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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