I'm drive I can fine osifer
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
