so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
