We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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