I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
