oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
