non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Are my feet made of real feet?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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