you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
