You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
