Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize