if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize