Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
