There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize