Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
