Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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