are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
