I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
