Me too!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize