apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
