He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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