I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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