This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
nutella sex= disaster
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
