have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
