my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
