Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
