i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
