So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
