Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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