Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
