He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Randomize
