Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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