Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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